The first non-poem.
Thoughts. I'm not going to lie, I've been thinking lots. About what I'm doing Why I stay What is keeping me here. And the idea of leaving has been flirting with the back of my mind. But tonight I really thought you were going to leave, that I was going to lose you, and I fucking lost it. I was hyperventilating, shaking, crying, sick to my stomach. I had to stop myself from screaming and clawing away the fragile flesh incasing my decaying soul. I can't ever lose you. And that makes me feel relieved, happy to know that where I am is where I need to be. And it also terrifies me. Because if I ever lost you, I don't think I would ever be even remotely okay.