Sigh

How do I explain my thinking? These fragments running circles, Playing chases of merry-go-round? It's harmony, it's melody, It's an ongoing song. The tunes dancing with my brainwaves,  Waltzing with my mood. - H  August 15, 2020

You either need to forgive, Or you need to move on. You can't keep living like this... You are dying. -H August 11, 2020

I find extreme comfort in the anonymity in these posts. Because the truth is I am doing bad. I am doing so so bad. I am doing terrible.  I am not okay in the slightest. So here is my confession: that I am not doing good and that I do not want to carry on and that I am beyond miserable. And I only feel this comfort in admission because I know no one will ever see this. -H August 2, 2020 

I don't know what to choose. Either I give in, I feel love  and I feel an inexplicable amount of pain Or I find warmth in the discomfort,  I taunt myself with the lies I have been fed I allow it to make a bleeding nest And I learn to love it, I learn to be numb I can't fall when I'm already nursing at the pit.  -H August 2, 2020

I know that all this time alone isn't good for me I can feel my brain deteriorating,  my heart depreciating.  It's this sick game of chase. The notion that this is destroying me, and the masticated craving to surrender to silence.  -H August 2, 2020