Sigh

 I saw you in my sleep today.  My image of you is starting to fade,  I never even see photos of you anymore, But you showed up for me today in my sleep.  And as I woke up with a empty chest,  Realizing this was a self inflicted fantasy,  I stayed awake, praying,  I hope this means you are thinking of me, too.  -H February 19, 2026

I can’t stop thinking about you.  You’re on my mind when I wake up,  I see your face when I close my eyes,  Pretend I can still feel you when he burries himself in me.  You’re all I want,  But aside from the logistics that I know we keep us apart,  I know you don’t want me.  Not anymore.  - H February 15, 2026

 I am trying so hard to be a good wife,  A good Christian -  But I am failing,  I cannot stop stumbling, tripping over the desire of my heart, succumbing to the screams from my soul.  I don't dream of sex,  Don't care for immortality or power.  I dream for love,  and know that it isn't found from my ring.  God,  What do I do?  Is this yearning a sin? How do I stop?  How can this stop?  A covenant was made in front of Your eyes at the alter,  and a vow was made from me to honor my husband.  But I do not love him.  I have not been able to love him since I met the other.  My heart is preoccupied with a craving for someone else, Someone I cannot help but think might be my soulmate.  God, Am I destined for love? What is my next move? What is the right move?  Is loving someone else a sin? I am at a constant internal war.  I do not know what to do.  God,  What do I do? Please, God,...