God, I am Begging for an Answer.

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 I am trying so hard to be a good wife, 

A good Christian - 


But I am failing, 

I cannot stop stumbling,

tripping over the desire of my heart,

succumbing to the screams from my soul. 


I don't dream of sex, 

Don't care for immortality or power. 

I dream for love, 

and know that it isn't found from my ring. 


God, 

What do I do? 

Is this yearning a sin?

How do I stop? 

How can this stop? 

A covenant was made in front of Your eyes at the alter, 

and a vow was made from me to honor my husband. 


But I do not love him. 

I have not been able to love him since I met the other. 

My heart is preoccupied with a craving for someone else,

Someone I cannot help but think might be my soulmate. 


God,

Am I destined for love?

What is my next move?

What is the right move? 

Is loving someone else a sin?


I am at a constant internal war.  I do not know what to do. 


God, 

What do I do?

Please, God, 

I am begging You. 

What 

Do 

I 

Do?


-H

February 13, 2026

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