Coming to Terms

I have accepted that I do not love him.

I don’t think I have loved him for a while…

I don’t even think I loved him at, “happy anniversary”

Nor, “I do”

Nor even, “yes”.

I think it all stopped the day I saw his messages,

Intertwining his soul with others,

Leaving mine cold and severed.

I stayed because I was lured by possibility,

Seduced by what seemed easy and right.

Scared shitless of the unknown,

Of ending up alone.

There are wonderful aspects of my life.

He has introduced me to new hobbies,

Rekindled some old ones,

And gave me the most beautiful daughter.

But I do not love him.

I do not believe in divorce -

Can not because of my religion

And can not out of fear of spending less time with my child.

So I will sit here in decay.

Smile for the pictures

Give kisses when expected

Because that is what good girls do.

But silently

Silently

I am waiting for my knight,

Tall dark and handsome,

To show me that I am worthy of the love I have always dreamt of.

- H

This is not a poem. Just a ramble of thoughts as I come to terms with something that I could never say to another breathing soul.

December 28, 2025

Sigh